


30 days after crisis

by Milanjones8888



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: AgentCorp, AgentCorp Week, Baby Gay Alex Danvers, Crisis On Earth-X Crossover Event (CW DC TV Universe), Crisis on Infinite Earths Crossover Event (CW DC TV Universe), F/F, Fluff and Angst, Hurt Alex Danvers, Lena Luthor Finds Out Kara Danvers is Supergirl, Lesbian Lena Luthor, Protective Alex Danvers, Sad Alex Danvers, alex danvers/lena luthor - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-02
Updated: 2021-01-03
Packaged: 2021-03-12 00:13:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,742
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28501302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Milanjones8888/pseuds/Milanjones8888
Summary: In this fic :-Alex is not dating Kelly Olsen-Alex having a crush on Lena long before Lex told Lena about Kara's secret, never having courage to tell Lena about her feeling-Alex send mix signals to Lena, Lena like her too, but never want to cross the limit because they're good friends-After what happen between Lena and Kara at fortress of solitude, everything change, including Alex and Lena,Alex must bury her dream of Lena-Until Jonn Jonnz ask Alex to go to Lena, asking for help to cope with the crisis-Lex doesn't come back to life
Relationships: Alex Danvers/Lena Luthor
Comments: 3
Kudos: 51





	1. Chapter 1

“I'm trying!” Lena said with frustration. “But the transmatter portal works by synthesizing polyelectronic anions. And if I don't get the energy levels right when I interface with the breach device, then the ships will disintegrate when they fly right through it.”  
  
“Right. That is not a good option.”  
  
“No.”  
  
And a random idea popped into Alex's head. “Have you thought about using an inverse variable to help calculate the differential?” Lena considered and looked at Alex, there was a strange feeling when her eyes and Alex's met, they spent several times alone with no other friends, even without Kara, and it was clear that there was something between them even though no one dare to say a word about it. But when Lena knew that Kara Danvers lied to her, of course Alex Danvers too, and it hurt her the most.  
  
“Galleon's theory.” Alex says, eyes still locked on Lena.  
  
“That's smart.” Lena started walking to the other computer, _from Alex.._ from all the possibilities that could hurt her in the future.  
  
“An inverse beta-decay to figure constituent quark, that could work.”  
  
Both gasped as another explosion took place, causing parts of the ceiling to fall off. Alex quickly grabbed Lena to the side, keeping Lena there a while, she wants time to stop, just for a moment, but she knew it was impossible.  
  
“Thanks.” Lena pulled away, not wanting to linger in comfort.  
  
"You almost got it?"  
  
"Almost done, I think. Yes! Systems are a go. Calculating destination... destination set.." she sighed in relief.  
  
"Smart call with Galleon's theory."  
  
"Oh, lucky guess. But you're the real genius here, so--"  
  
"Alex." said Lena while giving a mocking smile at Alex. "Don't mistake us working together for friendship. I told you before, Kara and you showed me who you were, and I accept that. Now let's go help these people get on these ships."  
  
Alex grabbed her hand before Lena left again, or before everything is really over. This is the worst crisis in years, she didn't know if she could get through, so she felt the need to talk to Lena.  
  
"What?"  
  
"I haven't seen you since you last talked to Kara."  
  
"You don't need to. It means nothing for me."  
  
"You know we're more than _that.._ "  
  
"Alex, you Danvers sister means nothing for me now." Lena responds back, voice cold.  
  
She expects Alex to blow up, expects Alex to yell, but she doesn't.  
  
"Don't do that with me," Alex says softly. "Don't say things that you know are going to hurt me. Trust me, i've had enough of pain all my life."  
  
Neither one of them say anything at all for a long minute, both staring at each other, as the light sparks as the ground rumbles.  
  
"Stay here. We're working on it." Alex holding her hand, Lena can take it off if she wants, but she didn't.  
  
"If I make it through the crisis, can we talk about it again? It's not about you and Kara or Supergirl, it's about you and me." the way Alex looked at her was very real. Alex is a really good actor if she lies too this time.  
  
"You know Alex, you don't deserve to ask for it." Lena tried hard to stay cold.  
  
"I know. But i need too, so please be safe."  
  
Then Alex kiss her softly on her lips, so soft that Lena almost close her eyes, and this is definitely their first kiss, after all this time they hold it back.  
  
"Just in case i didn't make it."  
  
it was Alex's last words before disappearing from Lena's sight.


	2. Chapter 2

_  
2 November 2019  
  
  
_

And they got through the crisis, of course, they always did.  
  
Alex is eating donut with Kara, a sunny afternoon, strange enough as it's nearing the end of the year, but they're used to all kinds of oddities, and they can live with that.  
  
"I'm sorry, Alex. i've made things hard for you."  
  
"It's okay, Kara, although it didn't happen that way, Lena Luthor would never end up with me," Alex answers, then eat the donut in a large bite.  
  
"No.. no.. You and Lena, is a perfect match, you know, both of you have a lot in common." Kara said with great enthusiasm, her eyes shining.  
  
"Maybe i'll talk to Lena about it, Alex..."  
  
"Please don't. i mean-- i would talk to her, maybe soon"  
  
Kara nodded as she finished all the donuts in the box.  
  
  
Alex knocked on the door of Lena's apartment, hand a little shaking, very nervous of course, but she was already prepared for the worst.  
  
It's a long minutes before Lena opens the door, partway, standing almost surprise in its wake. Her hair's loose around her shoulders and she looks incredibly beautiful, her usually-perfect makeup smudged and her bright lipstick gone. She looks amazing.  
  
"I coming back," Alex say shyly.  
  
"I didn't ask." Lena says, a little bit upset, although her body language remains quiet.  
  
"I know.. you promised me a talk."  
  
"I didn't."  
  
"Okay.. can i come in?" Alex asks.  
  
“No,” Lena answers, and closes the door right in her face.  
  
Alex pulls out her phone from her jacket.  
  
_  
Alex Danvers : i miss you..  
_  
unexpectedly, Lena's reply came quickly..  
_  
Lena Luthor : what games are you playing? your sister include?  
  
Alex Danvers : Lee.. please.. you know i'm not good at words..  
  
Lena Luthor : Of course, because the words coming from your mouth are lies  
  
Alex Danvers : You don't understand..  
  
Lena Luthor : Just leave, Alex.. _  
  
Alex sighs..  
  
_Alex Danvers : Okay, i like you, like a lot.. deeper than I realized before.  
  
Alex Danvers : Did you ever feel the same?  
  
Lena Luthor : .......  
  
Alex Danvers : I need to know, Lee.. please..  
  
Lena Luthor : I'm not that stupid, Alex Danvers..  
  
Alex Danvers : Because I don't deserve you?  
  
Lena Luthor : Of course you don't deserve me  
  
Lena Luthor : *don't deserve my trust..  
  
Alex Danvers : Why do you feel the need to correct it? afraid to hurt my heart?  
  
Alex Danvers : You clearly care about me.  
  
Lena Luthor : I AM NOT.  
  
Alex Danvers : Okay, say it to my face..  
  
_ Alex returns the phone to her jacket pocket, knocking on the door again, louder this time.  
  
""Open it, Lee.. i'm not gonna--"  
  
"You could knock on my door like a normal person." says Lena, eyes bulging.  
  
"And.. i didn't like you, i never like you. I'm sorry if you see it wrongly."  
  
Alex is not a confident person, quite the opposite. But she is a trained agent, she can tell the lies in Lena's eyes, at least she was sure Lena ever had something about them.  
  
"You came to my apartment last month, at midnight, _alone_ , when I had a fever." Alex says, really look at Lena's eyes, her soft, open, brown eyes.  
  
"Because we were friend. I take care of Kara when she sick." Lena answered , still in the half-open door.  
  
"You asked me to have movie night, _just you and me_ , twice.."  
  
"Just because Kara didn't like Horror."  
  
"You ran to DEO and hugged me, when I returned from a dangers mission."  
  
"I'm afraid of losing a friend, since i didn't have too many good friends, and you pretend well to be one."  
  
"You cooked my favorite food, _the busiest CEO on earth_ , just because my mom couldn't come for thanksgiving.. you--" Alex stops, and her legs began to feel weak. "Okay.. all right. you don't have to answer. Maybe i really took it wrong, i am sorry.." Alex says sheepishly, her face looks really sad, and desperate.  
  
Lena looks at her and her wall almost collapsed.  
  
"Yeah.. and the wound on your head looks messy, and it's starting to bleed again, is DEO clinic that bad?"  
  
Alex was quite surprised by what this beautiful woman said, she said as if she cared about her, even though she could have kicked Alex right away just right now.


	3. Chapter 3

Lena kneeled in front of Alex, Alex sat awkwardly on her couch, this is not the first time they were this close. But this is the first time since Lex told Lena that Kara is a Supergirl.  
  
Lena pretended to be Kara's friend for months, but she doesn't know how to pretend to Alex, because what she feels about Kara, is clearly different from what she feels to Alex. Lena didn't have time to find an answer, until the things blow up and it's just over. She hate Kara for sure, and it clearly make her hate Alex too, because it obviously involved Alex as well.  
  
Lena presses Alex's wound with gauze and alcohol, deliberately pressing a little firmly, wants to irritate Alex, make her scream or something like that, but Alex's expression when she just decide to enduring that pain and not even dare to protest, makes Lena feel she is very cute, and nervous, nervous Alex Danvers is the thing Lena like the most from this older Danvers.  
  
Kara is warm like the sun, of course long before Lena knew she's always Supergirl, Kara always made her laugh, and Alex Danvers also made her laugh, _and happy_ , in a very different way.  
Her jacket smells just like her, like coconut, Lena feels so good whenever Alex is around, long before her heart beats faster for this woman. Lena remembers when Kara tried to match Alex and Sam, because Alex is so close to them, Lena laughed at that time, said the same thing as Kara, but she felt her stomach hurt, her chest tightened. Of course she wants Sam to be happy, with what she and Ruby have been through. but _Alex Danvers is just.._  
  
"You clearly hate my sister, you hate me too. Five minutes ago you slammed the door right in front of my face, almost hitting my head. And now you're sitting pretty in front of me to clean my wound, and change my bandages. What should i think about it?" Alex raises an eyebrow, purse her lips.  
  
"First, i hate you and your sister, it didn't change, and maybe it would stay permanent." Lena stood up and pulled up a bench to sit in front of Alex, for some reason she didn't choose to sit next to Alex.  
"And the second, I didn't slam the doors with the intention of hurting you, aren't you a trained agent? You can dodge bullets, how you can't avoid a doors... and this is something i want to say to you clearly. Would you listen carefully? Because maybe this is our last conversation." this time Lena stood up, folded her arms in front of her chest, Alex had to lift her head to meet Lena's eyes.  
  
_I never want this to be our last time..._  
Alex wanted to say that but in fact, she just nod..  
  
"I want to make it clear between us.." She's wearing green, and Alex can't help noticing how it brings out the color of her eyes, her lips were thin and soft, in her calm position, Alex actually imagined kissing those lips. She doesn't have that particular type of woman, Maggie was her first love, and Lena Luthor is definitely anyone's dream.  
  
"To the things you said earlier.."  
  
"Which one? I am afraid i took it wrong again, _just like what you just said.._ "  
  
Lena smiles arrogantly, puts on her cheeky face, trying hard not to be gentle to Alex Danvers.  
  
"About me taking care of you when you were sick, watching movies with you, making your favorite food, and if I may add, maybe later you will remember about it, I send text after text to you all day long when you attended the conference in New York, maybe there was nothing special in my text, but I keep trying to keep in touch with you, and i also look for you when you are not there in game night, and i kissed your cheek on your birthday in July, i want to buy you that limited helmet that you dream for, even if you refused it in the end, and many more, and it sounds like I like you, right?."  
  
Alex definitely would have hold her hands, if Lena didn't fold them across her chest. and Alex just smile when she realize Lena apparently remembered all the details.  
  
"But don't you forget.. Long before that, you looked like the happiest person when I broke up with James, you offered me your warm looking shoulders, you sent flowers to L-corp. You told Jonn to buy my favorite pudding from Ireland, and now I wanna know if it's Jonn or Kara--"  
  
"It's Kara." Alex answers quickly, Lena raises an eyebrow.  
  
"You were so angry when I danced with a Russian man at the Gala dinner. You're trying to stay calm that moment while keep watching me, not realizing you finished ten glasses of wine in less than two minutes. And you pulled me for all kinds of reasons as the man hugged me tighter, and you almost look like you want to kill the man so badly."  
  
"You didn't yawned when i read you those boring philosophers, even James or Kara never like it." Lena pause for a while, Alex is so sure she saw the pain inside Lena's eyes.  
  
"And last but not least, you going with me to the prison, to met Lilian on her birthday when I forced myself to bring her a birthday cake, considering that Lilian is Deo's biggest enemy and maybe she was the one who kidnapped your father. You took my hand and hold it in yours and didn't let go along the way. You just let go of my hand when we are in front of Lilian's door." One second after that, the arrogant on Lena's face disappeared.  
  
"And with all of that Alex Danvers, what do you want me to do? what do you want me to feel?"  
  
The tears spring to Lena's eyes immediately. Of course, her eyes locked with Alex. Alex's chest visibly rose and fell with a deeper breath.  
  
Alex stand up and pulled Lena in for a deep hug..  
  
Lena felt the feeling come again, after all this time she felt so cold with life, _with everything.._ She is lonely, and belongs to no one. Her world was destroyed from the time she was four years old. And growing old with Alex Danvers was ever in her dream. She can't even describe in words, how Alex Danvers made her feel so loved, how she really need someone like Alex Danvers in her life.  
  
"Lee.. i'm so sorry.. i hurt you, i know, okay?" said Alex second after pulling away. "Don't you feel this is unfair to us? we didn't even got the chance.. I almost died during the last crisis, so did you, and I can't continue living without trying to make you trust me again."  
  
Lena looked at her in disbelief, her lips trembled from holding back tears. "What chance Alex? We know each other more than two years, and all that long---"  
  
"Lee, one month. Please.. i just ask for one month."  
  
"What? i'm done playing game with you, Director Danvers." Lena's face has reached that particular kind of blankness that Alex has started to recognize that is a mask of pain. Her fingers twitch and shaking, she wants to hug Lena again, telling her sorry again but she know it's useless, because once she's recognized how Lena expresses her hurt it's overwhelming to watch, and it's because of her. She realize that maybe she hurt Lena more than Kara.  
  
"Let me be around you within thirty days, don't push me away. Just me and you, I can be Alex Smith and you can be Lena _something_ , i don't care, because you're just you and i want you to know that you are special to me."  
  
Lena shake her head, her expression's still hurt. "It wouldn't work."  
  
"If it doesn't work, and it doesn't end the way we expected, means that i couldn't have your trust again, i'll leave."  
  
"You'll leave? Lena asks, looking directly into her eyes.  
  
"I will.. even if someday you can fix thing with Kara, i would not be there if you that's what you want."  
  
"I didn't even consider about it." Lena answers, _speaking of her things and Kara.._  
  
"30 days."  
  
"30 days.."  
  
"And you can't just hug me every time you want, because sometimes it feels like a trap."  
  
Alex relents. "No hug, i understand." Alex raised her hand in the air.


End file.
